Thursday, August 29, 2013

A letter to my son on his 1st birthday

Dear Jojo,

Such a dapper looking fellow
at only a day old
Happy birthday!  Well by the time this is posted we will be a mere hour from exactly when you were born (hopefully, don't know if I will finish in time).

By now you realize your mom and I are obsessed over you.  In a healthy way, my precious!

The joy, tears, love, laughs, and pain (small baby fists in the groin region of a half asleep daddy hurt!) you have brought us has been worth what we had to go through to get here.  I look at your smiling face and see our future; in more than just grandkids one day.  I look at raising you up to be everything I wasn't and should've been and needed to be.  Instilling my lessons learned from my mistakes to enable you to avoid them, but also to empower you to learn from, and push through, the snafus and blunders you will face.  I want you to know you can face your fears head on and that your mother and I will be there to help you through them.

"Hey Mista Bun-bun!  Want to hang out?"

Watching you go from being a tiny infant who had no control over his arms, to the little soon-to-be tot that tries to scale the side of the crib to get to Mr. Bun-bun, has really put a price on time.  No one will ever pay you what you are worth, and no money could ever be earned for that matter.  But you'll always have our support to pursue what you want; whether it be sports related, business, school, or to go off and do ministry work for God's Kingdom, we will support you.

It still amazes me that you are a little person with your own personality, strengths, weaknesses, quirks, and funny faces.  I love watching in my own awe and wonder at you learning, exploring, and going on our ahbenchurs (i.e. adventures) together.  Although you may not remember them I will always cherish them.  Especially when you are being a rather difficult teenager.

Every night that I am home to put you to bed I always try to tell you I am proud of you.  Every night I ask you if you treated your mom right.  That you were respectful to her and others.  That everything you did that day honored Jesus.  I will continue to do so until you are old enough to live on your own, even then I'll probably shoot you a call.  Why?  Because these are things I feel should always be at the forefront of your mind.  I want you to always know I am proud of you when you do the right thing, and proud of you when you recognize you did wrong and let me down, but are able to admit your fault and fix it.  I don't expect perfection, but I expect our love as father and son to be perfect.  There is a really good example of this loving father/son relationship in a book you and I read called the Bible.

I could get used to this "place of refuge"
I may not always be your friend, nor should I.  I am your father, first and foremost, and while I may not always want to be I will choose that role first for your benefit.  But know I will always be your refuge if you need a place to rest, talk, express your feelings, vent, cry, or just hold on to.  I hope to earn the 1st place slot in your life where you feel you can come to me and not worry about condemnation or judgement, but love.  Just like this past year of having you in our lives I know you don't judge your mom and I despite our faults and pasts.

There is such a pure love in your eyes I hope to understand and regain that full childlike love and wonder myself.  To be able to see the world through your eyes; new, fresh, exciting, and full of so many strange and unfamiliar things.  I, as I am sure many fathers, hope that you never lose your sense of adventure and awe at the vast world God has laid out before you.  That in everything you seek Him, and find Him in everything see.

"Look Daddy, no hands or teefs!"

I can only hope to protect you from the evils that prevail at times in our fallen world until you are old enough, strong enough, and equipped to handle them.  While I may not be able to fight your battles for you, I will gladly stand valiantly beside you and do battle together.

But for now the only battles we will have is with Mr. Bun-bun, knocking over towers, and not throwing your food on the floor.

Love you always,
You Dad

No comments:

Post a Comment