Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Keeping that romantic flame alit

So there you are, new parents and all, excited and nervous at the same time.  And then you go out for the evening, a sort of family "date night".  For my wife and I that means we wander stores looking at wares that we need not purchase, and usually don't.  It's fun being out; people Ooo-ing and Ahh-ing over our Jojo, making friends with other new parents, or me picking out the most random items saying, "Wouldn't this look great in the babies room?"

That is usually responded with, "Why in the world would we put that dirty, mounted deer head in his room?"  My blank stare usually gives away the lack of thought I put into it.

So one of our most recent outings found us wandering the maze of cut-rate cardboard furniture in the warehouse of wonders, Ikea.  I enjoy wandering the store and messing with the odd and unique furniture, like tables that unfold like Ironman's suit into a.....get this....larger table!  However one day I hope to dress in some Kung Fu outfit and karate chop the crap outta the table section to my heart's desire.

Guys you know what I mean, that little 4 legged Lack end table, you know that thing?  I guarantee that any one of you that has a hair in their armpit and some depth to their voice wants to Jackie Chan the fool out of these things:

Especially when they are in a stack......oh sweet, merciful ninja gods how I adore your temptations.

So we wandered the store, picked up some mirrors and kitchen cooking utensils and started on the voyage of exiting.  At this point our angelic son, who spent most of the time asleep, released the esurient rage monster.  The eyes popped wide open, pupils focused, and when food wasn't to be found we did all we could to keep him quiet lest we bring about the wrath of the non-parents around us.  You know those stares they give, the can't-you-keep-your-kid-quiet-and-out-of-my-childless-bubble stares? You know, the same ones we all gave before we had kids?  Yeah, those.  So we worked out a family evacuation plan which concluded with mama B-lining it to the elevator to exit the building and dad picking his way through the throngs of madness to the check-out lines.

So eventually we are all able to exit the building in relative peace, dad dodging the assortment of vehicles picking up their commodities in the loading area, and mom frantically roaming the parking lot with a bullhorn siren whining in front of her.  We convened at the car and setup for a romantic night of parking lot nippy-doos (breastfeeding for those who are confused).  Upon entering the car we find all 3 of us are hungry, so the hunter/gatherer instincts that are inherit to men like myself leads me out into the wild to forage for food.  And by forage I mean I walk back into Ikea for some 50¢ hot dogs and chips.

So here we are.  On our family date night.  In a packed Ikea parking lot, baby blanket in the rolled up passenger window strung across to the sun visor to provide some cover for the nursing, Jojo on the boob, mom and dad chowing down on some dogs, people coming and going all around, and Christmas music playing on the radio.

That's when my wife and I realized that this was a date night and we had better cherish the memory and enjoy.  So cherished it we did, all 3 of us......until the diaper exploded.

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